Focus on being more, not less.

A big shift happens when your focus moves from being less to being more…

I was at the gym the other day and couldn’t help but notice that for the first time, other gym members weren’t invading my space.


By space I mean that area around you that feels invasive if others cross it. I’m not sure when it started, but I was loving the fact that I was owning my entire presence and not trying to make myself smaller.


Now I’m not the type who DEMANDS her space not be invaded, and I don’t take up a lot of room with various dumbbells and other workout gear. I get that sometimes right in front of me is the best route to get to where you want to go, but this wasn’t happening. People were moving around me, not through me.


I finished my workout without giving this new discovery much thought, but afterward, I couldn’t help but wonder, what changed? 


For years, my focus has been on being small. 


Less weight. Less muscle. Less space.


I was focusing my energy on taking up LESS space and ultimately being less. The smaller I was, the happier I was. The less I weighed, the more accomplished I felt. The less food I ate, the more in control I felt.


But here’s the thing. Having such a focus on making myself smaller can feel suffocating. It can feel restricting. And it became outright exhausting. Always counting my calories, restricting my foods, saying “no” all of the time, never missing a workout…exhausting. I knew no other way though. The magazines told me to be small, the media told me to be small, the gym told me to be small. To be less.


So I was done with this. I was done being small, aiming for less.


What was the other option?


Be more.

Aim for big, not small. Aim for more, not less. Take up more space, not less.


(Side note, I don’t necessarily mean physically bigger, although a byproduct of growing muscle means that you could get bigger).


The moment I actively decided to make this switch, I felt relief. And biggest of all? I felt open…I felt like I was able to breathe again. Did I make it my goal to go out and gain a bunch of weight? No. Have I gained some? Yes. But you know what? I’m owning my space now, and I’m okay with being more.


Because being less is just way too damn exhausting.


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